CodenameSecret
(the film starts with the Warner Bros., Polar Inc. and Temmie Central logos, the latter two have been modified for this movie, most notably the Temmie in the Temmie Central logo being replaced with a naked Travis and the addition of the 'Night Hours' logo underneath, commentary begins a few second through the first logo with an iPhone ringtone going off) Arch Wizard Megumin: (off-screen) UGH! THE FILM IS STARTING! Timmy, was that you? Timmy: (also off-screen) But it's my mum! I have to answer it! (answers) Hello? (pause) I'm busy at the moment. (pause) No, I am not at the cinema. (pause) Well, maybe someone stole my phone. (pause) Well, I dunno, do I? (pause) F**K YOU! (hangs up) Travis: (also off-screen) Well, that's a first. Arch Wizard Megumin: For God's sake! (the camera zooms into the 'i' in 'Night Hours' (remember, I said the Temmie Central logo was modified) and the whiteness becomes Bikini Bottom, the camera gradually gets closer to the SBFW HQ, it is night) Narrator: And now we have narration, apparently. Beautiful narration. So, you may have heard of a website known as FANDOM. It's a bit like Wikipedia but consists of many wikis about actual subjects, instead of variations. There are two types of wikis. Canon wikis are about real things. Fanon wikis are about fanmade things. This is the SBFW HQ, where users of SBFW, the SpongeBob Fanon Wiki, live and write fan-fiction about SpongeBob for a living. Today is just a normal day in the town of- (bursts out with laughter) BIKINI BOTTOM? (laughs some more) I'm sorry, this is just so funn- OK, I'll stop now. Our story doesn't begin in the HQ, but in a secret lair, hidden underneath a bush. (we cut to the ASFL lair, where we see the creation process of robots based on some SBFW users) WARNER BROS. PRESENTS A POLAR INC. FILM BASED ON THE HIT TEMMIE CENTRAL NIGHT HOURS SHOW WITH ANIMATION BY PI IMAGEWORKS SBFW GO!: THAT GINORMOUS ONE IN CGI... (in the main area of the lair, the members of the Anti-Spongefan League meet with the robots) Arre: We are finally going to destroy SBFW and its HQ for good. Luis: You bet, boss. These robots are sure gonna kick some ass! Arre: There sure are, Luis. AMK, do you have the red button? AMK: Yep, right on my rear end like it's always been! SpongeBob: (facepalm) He meant the red button to activate the robots, not your red buttocks! AMK: Oh, right. Jerry: Hi. SpongeBob: F**k off, Jerry. Can't wait 'till SBFW is destroyed, I'm sick of all that stupid fanfic 'bout me! Plus, I wanna reserve more time for bubble blowing. Having to come here everyday after work isn't exactly the best thing in the world. After all, Gary needs fe- Arre: SHUT UP! Jerry: Hi. Arre: So, where is it, AMK? AMK: I gave it to you, your sexiness. Arre: Oh yeah. (he searches his pocket for the button, and finds it after taking a pack of condoms out, he presses the button) We have PolarBot, TravisBot and even SpongeBotBot! (the robots march off) Looks like it's gonna be a victory for the Anti-Spongefan League this time. Good job, everyone, especially our newest recruit... (he does an evil laugh as we see the shadow of a mysterious figure in the background, cut to the SBFW HQ) News Reader: (on TV) And our next headline covers some rather family-friendly news. Eugene Harold Krabs of The Krusty Krab has, well, BEEN RATHER F*****G MURDERED! Polar: (the TV catches his attention) OH MY GOD! THEY KILLED EUGENE! News Reader: Them b******s! Oh yeah, cashier Squidward Penisballs and the restraunt's loyal customers have been murdered too, but nobody cares about them. Polar: I do! Bong: (from the kitchen) Well, no one cares about you, PolarKey. Polar: It's just Polar, for f***'s sake! News Reader: The deed was done by a gang under the name of the Tea and Crumpets Corporation. Polar: Them b******s! News Reader: Here's what we know so far about them. Members of the gang include Polaroid Kate, SpongeBoob, Pluto Totally Is A F*****g Planet.com, (serious voice) Arch Whizarrd Megaman (normal voice) and their leader, young Travis Penniall. Here are some amateur sketches. (sketches that appear to be done by a toddler of sexually suggestive images appear on screen) Polar: Hang on, those names sound a bit familiar... (SpongeBot enters) SpongeBot: Hey, what's hanging? News Reader: What you are about to watch may be very disturbing and may leave you hanging off the edge of your seat. (the Man's not Hot music video plays) 2+2=4 ''-1 that's 3'' quick maths! News Reader: Sorry about that. Our intern put on the wrong footage. Mason: (off-screen) WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO PUT THE F*****G BLAME ON ME? News Reader: BECAUSE IT'S ALWAYS YOUR FAULT! YOU'RE FIRED! Mason: THAT'S NOT FAIR! News Reader: Here, take free condoms for you travels from my briefcase or somethin'. Mason: Yay! News Reader: And good luck losing your virginity! Anyway, roll the footage. (we see footage of a FaceBook livestream recorded by TravisBot, they enter The Krusty Krab) TravisBot: Ha. Ha. Ha. We are going to f*****g annihilate this piece of s**t. AWMBot: Should I get the guns out, boss? TravisBot: No need, I have my secret weapon right here. PUT YOU'RE HANDS UP, YOU'RE ALL GONNA DIE! Mr. Krabs: Is this like one of those game shows or something? Squidward: Yeah, probably Family Fortunes. (he laughs at his own bad joke, TravisBot pulls down his trousers) Wait a second, he hasn't got a dinky! (they all burst into hysterics) PolarBot: Ha. Ha. Ha. TravisBot: STOP. LAUGHING. IT ISN'T. FUNNY! (everyone continues to laugh more) Boys, gun 'em. (the camera is dropped and we hear gunshots and screaming, as well as SpongeBob running into the distance) SpongeBob: (badly acting) Oh no! They have come for me! What ever will I do? (we hear some glass smash and SpongeBob being flown away by what sounds like a giant bird, cut back to the studio) News Reader: The gang also left a note, stating their address at the SBFW HQ, here in Bikini Bottom. (bursts into hysterics) You can't make this stuff up! (stops) Join us after the break to find out why I keep pausing when anyone watching this wants to make a statement. (the TV is turned off, by this point, SBFW's users in their entirety are staring at the TV in shock, except Travis who is sucking his d**k) AWM: Were those, robots? Bong: Mmm, hmm. (after a pause, Pluto speaks up) Pluto: SOMEONE'S FRAMING US! Timmy: Plutee is right, we must do something! (wets himself) AWM: Remain calm, users. I'm sure there is a reasonable explanation. SpongeBot: No s**t, your dictatorship. This is all just a lovely little coincidence that will blow over in a few seconds. Travis: Like my d**k! (gets back to sucking it) Phil: Anyway, I don't care about this as it has nothing to do with me. I'm going back to check out the latest Discord Crib. C'mon, Rocky. (they get up to go upstairs, the doorbell rings) AWM: Wow, someone really worked hard on the latest doorbell gag. Polar: Don't blame me! Blame the writers! (cut to the real world, where a meeting's being held about the movie) Writer: What should we do about the doorbell gag? Writer #2: Leave it. It's all about Discord Crib now, anyway. (back to the cartoon) Phil: I'll get it.